You know you're in trouble when...

The person you're talking to at the restaurant hasn't even heard of the item you're allergic to. For the most part Casey and I can eat out anywhere. However if it's a new place we want to try I call ahead to find out if they are aware of what menu items have gluten in them. This was one such experience:

"Thank you for calling 'such and such' how can we help you?" (She's yelling at me and it sounds bumping in the background.)

"Yes I was wondering if you had any items on your menu that are gluten-free?"

........long silence.........

"Ummmmm..... do you mean gelatin?" (Patronizing tone)

"Oh, no it's glluuu-ten. Gluten. Like wheat?"

"Hmm... Yeah I think we have some stuff you can have."

"Well I'm allergic so maybe you could ask someone that would know for sure?"

"Well ::scoffs:: I know we have a lot of pasta dishes."

"Ok, is it gluten-free pasta?"

"it's just regular pasta."

Big sigh... "Ok thanks."

Click.

(For those of you who don't know pasta is made from wheat.)

Really?

Some people have no tact. For reals.

From Urbandictionary.com
1. tact n.
Tact is the ability to induce change or communicate hurtful information without offending through the use of consideration, compassion, kindness and reason. Tact is a quality to respect, because being an a**hole and acting negatively towards others is 100 times easier than making a positive contribution.

Insert clever comeback title here...

Saddle up ladies and gentlemen for the ever lengthy "comeback" post! The other day someone pointed out that it's almost been a year since I last blogged! Time flies eh?

This year has been a big one for our family. Here's what you've missed:

We got a new dog! Funny story that's worth sharing. Casey and I started talking about growing our little family (nope still no babies. Check back in 10 years...maybe). So I put my name on the list of our local shelter for them to call us when they got a wiener dog in. Just in case. Well I got a call the Thursday before President's Day weekend. They told me they had a black and brown female weiner dog (sound familiar?) and that her picture was online. Casey and I pulled her picture up and she was the spitting image of our little monster!

Now up to this point we had decided that having two dogs would be too much work. Twice the poop to clean up, twice the barking, and twice as many bodies to find someone to watch when we go out of town. So we were just window shopping.

So Monday morning rolls around and we both head to work. Or so I thought... silly me! I get a picture message of him and this dog that says, "This is Alice, she goes by Allie"! Can you believe it? He said she was terrified and was growling and snaping in the corner of her cage but when he went to get her she calmed down and snuggled. How could he resist?

So long story short we got another little monster. And she is awesome!




Next up I graduated. Yep that's right "I'm a big kid now"! I'm a bonified Registered Nurse now. Watch out!


Found out I'm gluten intolerant. That's been quite a change for my baked goods loving, fat face stuffing self.

Casey broke his ankle.


I met my birth mom. Yep that's all you get about that. Ok here's a couple pictures.



That about sums it up for now. Hey I forgot... I like blogging! Maybe I'll have to make this a regular thing again? Yes?

It's me again...

And here's number 8.

I can't stop. I need to brush my fuzzy teeth but I had to note this little tid bit. I got sidetracked by a friend's blog. The post was humorous but the cherry on top was the comment that went something like this... "Haha, so clever! I LOVE reading your blog! PS I have a blog too. Please follow it." Please follow me? Really? That's sad. Who cares how many "followers" you have. I bet they also have like 500 facebook friends (there's the middle finger again. haha "neat").

It's because I'm a loser.

Six posts in one day? Oh crap this makes it number 7. Lame.

I am updating my blog because it's Friday night, Casey's brother is spending the night, they have been playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 for three hours, and apparently I have nothing better to do. Note to self: fool everyone into thinking you have a wicked awesome social life by never blogging or updating your Facebook status on the weekends. Unless you're ill. Then post as much as possible and detail the explicit nature of your minute to minute ailments in a bid to gain sympathy and attention. That is all.

P.S I think it's hilarious that blogger and Facebook will mark my spelling wrong if I do not capitalize "facebook". Well here's the middle finger you snobby proper noun.

For Brenda...

No one else will find this appealng. Feel free to even mock me because I would be annoyed at someone who went shopping, took a bunch of pictures of their new clothes, and them blogged them. Lame. Super lame.

You can suck it though because Brenda is my best shopping companion. Ever. She can be explicitly trusted to give sound fashion, bargain, and accessorizing advice. She also knows the best way to wear your hair, which products to use, and what colors of makeup compliment your tone best. She is always up to date on current trends and has an eye for what works best for each individual body type, skin tone, etc. (Do I look up to my sister? Apparently!)

This being said, Brenda, you must move here. I cannot stand shopping without your expertise, your company, and your wit! I am crippled at the store by self doubt. Also, I get so high when I come home with great steals and bless Casey's heart he sure tries to act like he cares but his heart's just not in it.

Without further ado, here is my most recent booty. (Like a pirate yeah?) Please advise:

I love these boots. They are the perfect color. My life is better with them in it.


Yes Bren, I'm still a scarf girl. Through and through. I should go count how many I have. Over 10 easily. It's sick. I can't stop. I don't want to stop. How's scarfin' it up going for you? I LOVE square scarfs. I feel less awkward in them.

Saw this shirt on the website and died. Knew I had to have it. Got really nervous when I saw it in person due to it's total box shape but it fit great. I love all the details on it.

Are we sensing a color theme yet? I can't stop buying black and grey. Can't do it. Don't feel the need. This picture is blurry but I'm too lazy to redo it. It's a flowy vest thing.

I loved this sweater when it first arrived on the scene but it was like 70 bucks. Even with my discount I was like... it's a sweater. It's now on clearance for $29.95 so I basically got it for $15 bucks. Sweet. I love how it fit. The color was VERY hard for me. Black shoes? Brown? Nothing looked right. Until... the boots. Deep, satisfied sigh. I'm so happy.

Done with the AE parade? On to Downeast. So Utah, so cliche. But I found some good catches. Like this cardigan for instance. It goes down to mid thigh. I love it.

This wrap around shirt is really cute on. I about passed out when it was $60 for only two shirts. Since I don't shop anywhere else BUT the eagle it's really hard for me to pay full price but.... Merry Christmas to me!

Oops, I spoke too soon. One more AE catch. This was another that was an absolute necessity. The trench coat. Perfect for fall and spring. I should write for a catalog really. Anyways this is so so cute on.

I also got two pairs of jeans. One dark destroy artist and one worn midnight wash skinnys. The AE skinnys are seriously jean leggings. But they are perfect for boots.

Well Brenda, that about covers it. Unless you're curious about the $5 Bath and Body Works plug ins I indulged in. No? Oh well. Love you. Miss you. Need to shop with you. Your comments are greatly appreciated due to my unending need for validation. K, thanks! P.S feel free to share your most recent spoils!

To anyone that is not my sister who is reading this. Why are you still here? You made it to the end without gagging? Props my friend.

I have an answer.

Red eyes.

Casey asked me the other day what physical characteristic about myself that I would wish never to be passed on to my children. (Not that we're ever having kids. We're not. And if you ask me one more time I'm going to tell you that I'm barren, start crying, and make you feel like a jerk. So don't do it. Just don't.)

Anyways. I have decided. I have wicked red eyes. I hate them. They are in every photo and most of the time are so sever that they cannot be photoshopped out. I HATE them. With all the fire of my soul.

Heaven forbid my demon children have them.

Perez nasty...

Confession: I can spend hours perusing Perez Hilton's blog. I LOVE celebrity gossip. LOVE it. Pathetic? Maybe. Awesome? Definitely.

The biggest blog drawback...

I have something hilarious to share. Actually while we're on the topic I have TWO hilarious things to share. I mean this is just pee your pants funny stuff. These things could become mass email forward famous. They are that good...

Unfortunately, I can't share it with you. The biggest blog drawback is that sometimes, the very "neat" people that you want to blog about, probably read your blog. Dang it!

Let me just say, these things are awkwardfamilyphotos.com worthy. 110%

I really wish I could blog about some people freely without risking the chance of them reading it here!

Oh well...

Um just found out I can post via text. I just peed.

Are you smiling?

'Cause I am!

I'm more of a Lucy Ricardo kinda gal...

Those of you who know me probably know of my distaste for all things "Relief Society". Now just wait a second! Before you judge or think to yourself, "gasp! That's just so sad! A little attitude change and she could be enjoy all the many blessings this sisterhood holds", you have to know something about me.

That something is that I have never been a big "gal pal" kind of girl. Most of my friends in high school were boys. I get along with them better. So when I think of a group of all female, wifey, mommy-types getting together to "bond", every cell in my body wants to run for the hills.

My issues with Relief Society (not really the organization itself which is actually a great idea but more so with the self-righteous brats that flood it's super uncomfortable folding metal chairs) are enough to make a whole post on their own. This post is about "homekmaking".

I have a bad habit of seeing what others have/do/are and then feeling crappy about my deficits. In particular lately I've been noticing how many people around are out decorating their cute homes, making super yummy dinners, trying new cleaning products, etc etc. Now don't get me wrong, staying at home has never been in the plans for me. I enjoy my hectic busy life but sometimes I feel bad for Casey that he got the dud. Awful thing to say right? Try living in Utah for five years and try to tell me you don't feel like an inadequate wife sometimes. I think it's in the water (because it's surely not fluoride in there... just ask my dentist).

As I contemplated my weaknesses I realized that it's ok that I'm not June Cleaver. I really don't want to be June. I HATE cooking. I DESPISE cleaning. And I am way to inept at decorating to even think about starting down that dark alley! But...I get by. I, my friends, am what I like to call a home "maintainer".

I don't have the time or frankly the energy to produce a five course spread every night. I usually don't even touch the laundry until the closet is vomiting dirty clothes all over me. But we don't live in squalor. I cook maybe two nights out of the week. Casey cooks, he cleans, he fixes, he even decorates (good thing he's not a dud). I think it's pretty lame if a man expects his wife to do everything around the house when she's working too or in school, or both! Now if she was just sitting around the house all day and he was working ok sure whatever... but again I think that may be a topic for another post...

Anyways... this has been quite a wordy and probably irritatingly long blog for you to read but I feel better getting it out there. I am proud that my home hasn't become infested by termits or rodents and that my friends, is good enough for me!

I don't know why...

But I can't help but enjoy cheesy holiday backgrounds. I know they're cliche but I don't care. I actually look forward to a new season or event for which I can spend hours searching for a great background and fonts that match. Sick right? I know it's pathetic. I am not creative. I do not decorate my house. I don't scrapbook. I don't make crafts. But you bet your ace I bedazzle my blog.