I have a huge public potty phobia. Yes I know most of you are already nodding your head. It's not what your thinking. While I am terrified of all the sickos who don't wash their hands, and I layer the seat protectors like ten thick... it's more than that.
I hate holding a conversation in the bathroom. You know girls. Chances are that if we're using a public restroom our gal pal has accompanied us and is in the next stall. Please ladies, do not talk to me. I beg you. It just feels wrong. Let's just pretend we're all alone. The only exception being if you need me to "spare a sqaure" (name that show!)if which case I will happily hand it over with no further discussion.
Psycho issue #2 I hate when I'm in the bathroom and someone knocks... I freeze! PANIC!!! Palms sweating, heart racing...What do I say? "Occupied?" Oh my gosh lame. "I'm in here..." Even worse. I hate it!!!
Conversely, I also hate when I am the knocker! I really just don't want to converse with someone while they are "in there". What a freak right?
Well with that in mind I present you with one of the single most traumatic events ever! I was at the hospital on Thursday night for one of my clinical shifts. There was a staff bathroom on the unit. It has a keypad on it. I asked the clerk for the code and she gave it to me. I punched in the code and entered the bathroom. I'm relaxing, doing my thing, and all of the sound the door opens! In walks my nurse! AH!!! AH! AH! So bad! Obviously as soon as she realized the potty was "occupied" she high tailed it out of there but the damage was done. I was mortified. What's worse I had to spend the rest of the night with this woman! Words cannot explain how awkward I felt the rest of the night. No one said a word about it the rest of the night but we both knew she had seen me with my pants around my ankles! Ugh!
P.S Apparently you have to push this little metal button on the top of the key pad to lock the door! My hell! Thanks for the heads up! I'm never using the bathroom again.
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8 comments:
Ba ha ha!!! Oh my gosh! Me too! Ew!! Leave me alone so I can pee in peace!!
PS, Seinfeld...
Maybe you should just get over it!!!! After all, every body does it. I can't tell you how many times I've peed into a sink in a bathroom full of people. Or in a parking lot, side of the road, behind a tree or pole or whatever. I'm practically a dog.....
Erin- I kinda figured we might see eye to eye on this! And good job with the Seinfeld, quite possibly the funniest episode ever!
Brenda- Yep not surprised here either :) I can pee in nature... just not with anyone chatting with me about the weather!
Ok Kar...That is awful! I share all your same potty phobias. I had to go in Walmart the other day and almost hyperventilated.
Ha ha ha ha that's hilarious! My brother-in-law walked in on me once... awkward :-)
Oh I love it!!!! Ya for real, what do you say when someone knocks on your door??? i tend to say "hello?"! ha ha ha! how lame. and that must've been on mom baby. and no worries, i've done that a few times myself!!!!
Hey so I share your phobia to an extent but can add a twist. So my phobia is having people hear me when I am going to the bathroom. Number 1 or 2 it doesnt matter I dont want anyone to hear a thing. So here is what I do. If it is a bathroom with more then one stall, I keep flushing the toilet until I am done. And I seriously hate the places where the toilet fills up like the ones at home as a opposed to the high power flushers. If its just a one stall bathroom and I can reach the sink, I run the water. And if I cant do any of the above I just wait in the stole until whoever is in the bathroom leaves. So there you have it....I am a weirdo as well.
I can't believe I left that out! I totally hate when people can hear me too! I... um... don't go to the "measures" you do to prevent it but I still don't like it!
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